New Parents, a Small Baby and a Van - Wodka, Burlski and the Human Spirit

Krakow, Poland - 597 kms (from Berlin)

Total mileage - 2559.6 kms

New mileage - 242,946.8 kms

Jade:

I’d been dying to take Jimmi to Krakow since I went with my girls for our 30th birthday. On that trip we flew in and were completely taken by surprise at how beautiful it was, not to mention cheap (which always helps). So off we set after an awesome 5 hot, sunny days in Berlin. The first thing we were greeted with was the road from Germany into Poland...

Jimmi

Ah yes, the journey from Berlin to Krakow.  As we travelled over the border into Poland our first encounter was being pulled over by border police - we figured they saw our GB number plate from a distance and assumed we were lost.  So much for border-less control within the EU.

We were greeted by a burly Polski police officer (who from now on I will call Burlski) and his female sidekick (I will call Robinski), who swiftly took our passports off us and went to the patrol car to ensure we weren’t wanted by Interpol.  Understandable after taking one look at our son Séamus asleep in the back of our camper, just 3 months old.  Alarm bells ringing loudly no doubt.

Whilst our passports details were being shared with intelligence agencies throughout Europe, I’ve never in all my travels ever had such a difficult lost in translation encounter than I did with Burlski.  With not a word of Polski other than um, well, Polski and apparently not a single word of English from Burlski, I finally established what he was asking:

• Passports - by signal of a square and pointing at me.  Check.
• Time in Poland - a bunch of words.  I guessed and said 2 weeks.  He nodded. Check.
• Safety equipment - a bunch of words.  No comprende.  Crosses arms in X shape.  Under the driver's seat.  Including self breathalyser kits for France.  I mean really.  WTF France. Check.
• Interesting side note (for some), in the front of our Philip’s Road Atlas (2015)  it mentions “Legislation introduced in France in 2012 required every driver to carry a self-breathalyser test kit.  However, the imposition of an (e)11 fine for failing to produce a breathalyser when required has been postponed indefinitely.  So, in theory, you are required to carry a breathalyser kit, but no fine can be imposed if you don’t.
• Car documents - pointing at the car while pretending to open a book with hands.  Guesses registration documents.  Feck..  Negative.

As I frantically did the fake search everywhere thing while asking Jade in the back if she knew where they were, she fake replied “I’m not sure”.  Translation “In the filofax at home.”

I looked back at Burlski and put on my best fake dumb tourist shrug of the shoulders with “we left at home, we didn’t know we needed it.”  Burlski seemed to understand dumb tourist and looked back at me with utter disbelief and uttered a few stern words.  Again, not requiring translation on my part.  Surely now he thinks that Interpol have reported back that the rusty van is stolen, and they’re making their getaway 2000 kms across Europe with their 3 month old baby into Poland.

Luckily at this very moment, Robinski returned with our passports.  Burlski then pointed aggressively at me, still with his face screwed up like a boiled cabbage and walked back to the car with Robinski.  

I sat still like a possum in the headlights thinking he meant don’t go anywhere, I’m not finished with you.  Once they’d returned back to the car facing the opposite direction of us, Burlinski, Robinski and the dumb tourists sat staring at each other in a Mexican stand off, until Burlski finally put his arm out the car window and furiously waved us off.  I promptly put Frank in first and left Burlski and Robinski to fight the good fight.

Once finally on the road after our ordeal, we were amazed about how terrible the state of the road was.  Bumping up and down vigorously with Frank’s 22 year old suspension as sophisticated as a soap box cart and just as comfortable for 100’s of kilometres, we noticed that the opposite side of the motorway, towards Berlin was a smooth as my son’s behind.  Why was that I thought?  Did it coincide with Poland joining the EU, and never finished as all workmen are now providing undertaking every home renovation project in Britain?  Or was it for a bit of retribution toward the German’s for their conflicted shared history perhaps?

Jade

Unfortunately, upon checking the weather for the next few days we realised that a low of 4 degs, not to mention the first rain we would see in while, during the night is just too cold for our Séamie so we decided to book into a couple of Air BnB’s - one near the old town and one near the Jewish quarter 2 days later. It was quite nice to get out of the van for a few nights but the practicalities made it totally laborious. We have packed the van so that everything has a space so trying to take our lives into an apartment four floors up is a pain, especially because we always forgot the nappies, bottle etc etc. However, Séamus was struggling a bit as his reflux was flaring up again so it was good to have a base and spread out a bit.

We immediately ventured into the *largest square in Europe, the Rynek Główny (I may have made that up but it definitely could be). I almost felt proud showing it to Jimmi, as if I’d discovered it!

The Main Square - Rynek Główny

Dude busking sweet sax numbers and random cat figurine store

Poland = vodka = sweeeet! WODKA Cafe Bar, the only dedicated wodka bar in Krakow offer a tasting flight of flavoured wodkas. We let the bar man choose and just as I said ‘No chilli flavour’ it was too late. Cool. Séamie let us get through our hazelnut (the best!), lemon, berry, chilli (urgh) and chocolate woddys before deciding we’d all had enough and it was home time. Picture ever so slightly squiffy parents, a screaming baby, pouring down rain in a grotty, grey Krakow. Home time indeed.

As food lovers, as in we love ALL THE FOOD, we wanted to try typical Polish food. We went to a couple of Polish restaurants, one recommended by our Air BnB host. The local advice you get is one of the great things that comes with staying in an Air BnB as opposed to a campsite.  The first was a Polish restaurant phenomenon that we came to love, self service. Which in this respect meant no table service but in another near Auschwitz it meant you literally serve yourself and your plate is weighed at the counter. You didn’t catch me putting any of those heavy potatoes on my plate. Thrifty McThriftason!

The other restaurant worth noting is Pod Wawelem, the *oldest restaurant in Krakow (I might have made that up but it definitely could be) - imagine beer hall-esk. I’d been there with the lasses last year and knew the food was good and there is a band playing traditional Polish folk music...awesome I thought. One look at the pushchair though meant we were side lined to the kids room which was directly below the playroom. *Queue screaming kids* Urgh.

Our Séamie was asleep, that is until the band came through to the tiny room and started playing full pelt about a millimeter from his ear. *Queue wide awake baby* Urgh. In all seriousness it was louder enough to damage hearing...in the kids room.  Wow.

Polish Folk Band turned up to 11.

The saving grace of the experience was the huge-mongous crispy pork knuckle (and Jimmi might say the stein) we ordered. Even we couldn’t finish it and walked out with a foil wrapped piece of crackling, fatty goodness.

Knuckle mit stein, and a dedicated area to make room for more.

A quick skip around Wawel Castle in the freezing cold and drizzle to burn off about 0.01% of the calories consumed in pig fat and then it was off home.

Wawel Castle

Observation: CABBAGE! It has a certains set of skills, it will find you and it will be in every dish you order.

Salt mines

Jade

A few miles outside of Krakow you can visit the Wieliczka Salt Mine. Back in the olden days (like really olden days) salt was used in Poland as currency. The salt from these particular mines once made up two thirds of Poland’s economy and the city of Krakow was built using money made from there.

As the weather was still dismal it seemed like a good use of our time to go 135 metres underground at the mines. As per the rules of entry you had to be part of a guided tour, something we very rarely do as we like our own version of tours. We have short attention spans and get thirsty quite regularly you see!

We made our way down hundreds of steps. We’d decided to take Séamie in his carrier that day thank goodness. This was his first full day the carrier and he slept the whole way around.  

Endless stair case to the salt mine and Jade enjoys some salty goodness

The guided tour was actually very good and informative as you can see from my facts above! The lady said we were free to check that the walls of the corridors were actually rock salt by licking them….who would do that?!

Chapel and the incredible sculptures carved out of the rock salt

The saline lakes, with a strange lighting show interlude with Chopin blaring in the background

We would recommend the Salt mines, but possibly only if the weather was a bit pants or you were in Krakow for a few days like we were. Having said that, it was very unique experience!

Auschwitz

Jimmi

After an enjoyable few days in Krakow, Jade and I’d been talking about visiting the Auschwitz Memorial - built within the remains of two of the concentration camps used by the Nazi’s for slave labour and extermination of victims during WWII.  It is estimated that as many as 1.1 million of the 1.4 million mainly Polish, Jewish, as well as those considered disabled (therefore unfit for work) or gay who saw the inside of these barbed wired fences never saw the outside again.  We stayed in an Air BnB place about 6-7 kilometres away, this beautiful refurbished loft apartment that during the war was occupied by SS troops; for them a place of rest before heading to the camps each day to carry out their daily duties.

We’d spoken to a few people on our travels about visiting, who had said that it is truly a sobering experience.  They weren’t wrong, however nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming emotion you feel here, about people you never knew or had direct ancestors who had suffered it’s through unfathomable torture.  The human spirit in all of us aches as you take it all in.

‘Auschwitz I’ as it was known has preserved the various buildings used for housing the men, woman and children held there, as well as where political executions took place over the 5 years of operation during WWII. In a museum style format, it tells the story of the sickening atrocities that occurred there, the appalling conditions that the inmates suffered and ultimately the scale of terror and torment of which mankind is capable of.  If only this was the first and last time in history genocide on mass had occurred.  The huge piles of belongings and clothing of the victims, as well as the room filled with womans hair cut from their heads before being taken for a ‘shower’ as per the SS officers deception brings home the heavy reality of their final moments.

Prisoner uniforms and the shooting wall used mostly for political executions

‘Auschwitz II - Birkenhauf’ is the other camp just a few kilometres away.  Far less preserved, it’s essentially been kept as the Nazi’s left it before abandoning it as they’d tried to remove or destroy the evidence of the mass genocide that’d occurred there.  Many of the 300+ prisoner quarters had been destroyed, as were the gas chambers - now just a pile of rubble. Below is a video I took out the side of our van to show the sheer scale of Auschwitz II - Birkenhauf.

The entrance to Auschwitz II-Birkenau and remains of one of the gas chambers

As we arrived at Auswitz I, we noticed an unused single train track.  Not thinking about it too much at this point, it became clear what it was for when we arrived at Auswitz II - Birkenhauf.  To bring the thousands of victims by the train load to their final resting place.  The train track that suddenly stops, with no barrier, is a truly a soul wrenching metaphor for the end of the line.

End of the Line for the many that came here

What we really did appreciate though was the calmness of this memorial, that despite the many that lost their lives here it is in no way did we personally think it was eerie, and these poor people are now somewhat at peace and not suffering the torment of their final minutes, days and sometimes years.  All visitors regardless of their race or religion were quiet and respectful.  There were large tour groups of young Jews, proudly waving their Jewish flags paying respects to their ancestors.  I was so moved to see them walk their steps of its painful reality.

I can’t recommend highly enough visiting Auschwitz, or any other memorial of it’s type, despite the heaviest of hearts you will have for some time after.  We didn’t do it with a guide, and for us the place spoke for itself, however we read lots of reviews from people who did that appreciated it (albeit many felt it was rushed).  We bought a guide from the book store near the entrance for very little and there are signs everywhere in English telling the story too.

This was merely 70 years ago, modern history, and having visited the killing fields museum and the S-21 Prison in Phnom Penh (Cambodia) with Jade in 2011, where the Khmer Rouge killed thousands of their own people as recently as the 70’s you hear yourself thinking, “Could it actually happen again?”  

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In the next episode of ‘New parents, a Small Baby and a Van’, the Griswalds head to Croatia via Vienna on their European Vacation.  We’re still way behind on the blog unfortunately.  When you embark on a trip for several months you think all you have is time.  In reality, with a now 3 month old baby, it’s the last thing you have!